Feb. 6th, 2006

sweh: (Default)
Last night I was watching my "Alien Nation" DVDs, and just finished the episode where the department is interviewed by a shrink. It ends with Sykes expressing his fear of "opening the door and joining the party" that everyone else seems to be having. This is, maybe, me. I'm scared of doing things with people. Not sure why. Maybe I'm afraid I'll make a fool of myself, and look like a prat. Afraid that people will laugh at me. Afraid I'll disappoint the people I'm with. As a result I'm on the outside of most things, looking in.

I looked into the mirror this morning and wondered Why? What do Tori and Julie see in me? I'm not good looking, I'm fat, I'm not a _fun_ person. I'm OK with them going out and having fun, but don't want to go myself. Why do they love me?

And maybe in response, Sunday's Dilbert (local copy here for when the original expires from comics.com) maybe provides an answer. There's something wrong with them :-)

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