Stress...

I forgot I still had this thing and was gonna use it for personal-ish stuff. I guess this one qualifies! Originally a twitter thread.

Well, that's some stress reduction...

6 years ago I had a melanoma. It was "high risk" and I needed lymph node checks. In last week's followup skin check the dermatologist didn't like a spot on my leg (I have a _lot_ of freckles; there's a lot of spots) and cut it out.

Biopsy result came on Monday: benign. No cancer

At the same time my PSA levels jumped a lot. Now I have a large prostate, but the urologist was concerned about the rapid increase. He wanted to biopsy, but I managed to get him to agree to an MRI instead. That was a month ago...

Results of the MRI just came in (30 minutes before the skin biopsy). All clear. No cancer!

And because I've turned 50 they wanted me to have a colonoscopy.

They found 1 small polyp that is pre-cancerous, but not a cancer (40% chance of things like this becoming cancer in 10 years). So another colonoscopy in 3 years.

So in the past month I've had 3 sets of tests for 3 different cancers.

But they were all "no cancer" results.

I hate this shit. Because of my melanoma size and risk, I get really really stressed out when there's a possibility of a new cancer. 3 in one month. *graagh!*

(The melamoma, itself, was easy; surgery, and done. The fear it leaves behind...).

I really should create a Will. But that's facing my mortality.

I'm not afraid of death, of what comes after (nothing). I'm afraid of dying. And I'm really afraid of a lingering cancer-ridden painful death.