(no subject)

Maybe I'm getting more selective in my on-line reading, or maybe I'm just becoming a miserable bastard. Dunno. Anwyay. 2 of the yahoo groups I used to read have migrated to a web forum and I told the list owner that he'd lost at least one regular to each group. And today I got annoyed with the TES-TALK list reposting the TES-INFO stuff (gee, the info list is there for a reason) so I've set that to 'no email'.

And I'm writing this post because I don't know what mood I'm really in. Alternating between annoyed, angry, wanting to cry, depressed, apathetic, smiling and bored. Whee. Go me. Maybe. If I can get the energy.

Nope, writing about it hasn't changed my attitude. Blah.

Maybe this is why?

I'm a nobody. I'm not going to make any mark in the world. After I'm gone there will be nothing but memories in a few people (eg Tori), and when they're gone I'll be nothing. The world won't notice my passing; it'll be as if I'll have never have been. What does it matter what I do?

Fuck, sounds like teenage goth angst. Fuck.

Maybe this is why people want to blow up buildings, or perform acts of destruction; at least that gets them noticed and maybe a mark in history.