Running to a stand still

Sometimes I think I'm spending all my energy and running as fast as I can just to stay in place. If I relax for a moment then I can feel things slipping away and I move further away from the only long term goal I have (to stay in this country to be with Tori). I'm always afraid that something somewhere will kick me in the head and cause the process to be derailed and cause me to be kicked out. The latest medical exam is merely an example of this... somehow it will fuck up and I'll be back in England, alone, back where I was 6 years ago.

( Where I Want to be )