Fear of fucking up
Jan. 11th, 2007 11:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
swehOnce in a blue moon (well, I guess more frequently!) I assert myself with Tori. I step out of my role as her slave and tell her what I feel. And when I do that I feel guilty. Surely I should be able to overcome my insecurities and feelings and allow her to do what she wants? What's the point in calling myself her slave if I can't do these things for her?
I know that holding back and not explaing myself to her can, ultimately, lead to a worse situation.
But that's a "can"; a possibility.
So I'm pre-emptively sending email that is more likely to hurt her now in order to avoid more hurt in the future. An email based solely on my fears and maybe not in reality.
I think I've fucked up.
I know that holding back and not explaing myself to her can, ultimately, lead to a worse situation.
But that's a "can"; a possibility.
So I'm pre-emptively sending email that is more likely to hurt her now in order to avoid more hurt in the future. An email based solely on my fears and maybe not in reality.
I think I've fucked up.
